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Image by Tim Peterson


Grieving is extremely painful, overwhelming, and unpredictable. 

Grief does not work in a straight line, neatly passing from one stage to another. It can go in all directions. 

I often hear clients say that their grief comes in waves; one minute everything feels fairly calm and then out of nowhere a huge wave comes along and knocks them off their feet.

Grief is as unique as we are. The relationships we have with others are different, along with our thoughts and feelings, so it’s natural that we will all grieve differently. 

It’s important to know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.



The Tonkin Model

This bereavement model explains what happens to our grief over a period of time.

At the start of bereavement the loss is completely overwhelming, taking over everything. However, while the grief does not get smaller, over time people learn to accommodate it, and to grow around it.

Eventually you can adjust to a new normal - a world that your loved one is no longer physically part of, whilst finding ways to continuing a bond with your loved one.

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